[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
The Angel Gabriel woke me up last night at approximately 12:25am (coincidence? Think about it. Probably not.) and told me had some serious business to talk about. He said there was some cause for concern in the heavenly realm (that’s where he lives, so I guess he should know) that the world was losing a great deal of its Christmas spirit these days due in part to rising unemployment and an uptick in generally bellicose and nationalistic behavior worldwide. What the world needed most at this time, he told me, was a new Christmas tune that could serve as a big bear hug to the whole wide world — a jingle borne of the spontaneity of true Yuletide fervor (not preconceived… get it? It’s a reference to the Christmas story, remember when Mary was going to have a son [Jesus] but she was like, ‘what? I’m a virgin!’ which was the whole idea but she was still a little worried) and untainted by the garish trappings of the capitalist Global North—
‘Stop right there, Gabriel.’ That’s what I said to him before he could finish talking, even though it was very eloquent and well-rehearsed, it seemed. ‘I have just the Christmas greeting you seek. It’s raw and heartfelt and tender and most of all it has always been intended as a gift for the whole world. I don’t even ask for any royalties. Maybe a head nod but nothing more.’
Gabriel’s face was beaming. I mean, it was beaming the whole time. He’s an angel. I meant to mention the beaming thing before. That happens with most angels. Especially the ones who run Christmas errands. I told him that I wasn’t sure quite how we should disseminate this treasure to the masses, but this is where Gabriel knew just what to do. He pulled out a flash drive (Sandisk, I think, 512MB) from his pocket and pointed it at me. ‘Technology, m’boy! Plug-n-play! The cloud! You see?’ I admit I was lost at ‘plug-n-play,’ but he was speaking with such enthusiasm that I nodded and smiled and said something like, ‘Let’s do this thing.’
Gabriel glanced at his watch and told me he’d better let me get back to sleep since I had to get up early for school the next morning.
And so he left me, USB stick in hand, with this little Christmas ditty that I now share with you, titled ‘Merry Christmas to the World.’ Maybe you heard it last year at a Christmas party. Maybe not.
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